I've been having such a rollicking good time in my absence that I hardly know where to begin. I know. I'll start with last Monday. A couple of my colleagues were out of the office on Monday and the woman who is supposed to answer the phone called in to say that one of her daughters had pink eye and this crisis would make it impossible for her to get her sorry ass in to the office. Pink eye. I fail to see why this would necessitate staying home. We have a young college student who answers the phone, but she doesn't get to the office until 11:00. So, yes, boys and girls, I did stay until 11:00.
I still had to drop off one of my huskies to get her vaccinations current, cook enough rice and chicken for my diabetic huskie, pack my clothes, take both huskies to the kennel where they were going to stay (all the way across town)and a handful of other miscellaneous errands. I went to the grocery store to pick up the aforementioned chicken and rice. I was also supposed to be getting additional insulin.
Here might be a good time to mention how much I hate grocery stores. There are far too many people in them and every single one of those people is somehow managing to be in my way. They're chatting in the middle of an aisle. They're listlessly looking at the salad dressing and blocking me from getting to something I need. They're trying to mow me down because they've come around the corner too fast to see me. I was prepared, though. I kept breathing deeply and focusing on the matter at hand.
I got home and found that I'd forgotten the insulin. Back to my neighborhood Walgreens, where I was fourth in line at the pharmacy. By the time I got to the counter, I had already been praying not to get the stupid pharmacy tech. You could tell she was stupid way back at the end of the line of sick people (who were probably radiating germs, all of which were landing on my person). I got the competent employee, but the stupid one didn't know how to finish out her transaction, so they switched and I ended up with Stupid anyway. I told her I need a vial of Humulin L. This is really common stuff. Lots of human diabetics use it. She looked at me like I'd suddenly started speaking Swahili.
"A vial? Of?" she asked.
"A vial of Humulin L." I said it loudly, hoping that would help her understand what I wanted.
Blank look.
"It's insulin," I said. No, I did not yell. I was hanging on to the remaining shreds of patience left in me.
Stupid slowly shuffled off in a way that made me think that, even if she knew what insulin is, she had absolutely no idea where it might be located in the pharmacy. She paused for a moment before she rounded the corner and the competent person noticed Stupid was fucking up again.
"Insulin?" Stupid said.
"It's in the refrigerator." The competent one left her customer and went off with Stupid to show her what a refrigerator is and where it's located in the pharmacy. I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that once the competent one got involved, I'd have the insulin in my hands in a matter of minutes.
Wrong.
Competent One returned to her customer, but there was no sign of Stupid anywhere. Finally she shuffled back over to the counter, gazed at me and said,"We don't have that."
I was ready to leap over the counter to beat her to death with a prescription bottle. It might have taken some time, but I assure you I would definitely have killed her had I been given the chance. No time for murder, though. Off I went to yet another Walgreen's.
I stood in line and, when I got to the counter, I looked at the young man who seemed like he might be able to help me. I requested Humulin L. He smiled at me and told me he didn't know what that is, but that he would definitely get it for me.
I helped by telling him it's insulin. Another competent person was dealing with the drive-through prescriptions, but she pointed him in the right direction. Sure enough, he came back in short order, put the insulin in a bag and took my $30.
I drove back to my house, where my husband was standing in the kitchen looking miserable while cooking rice in the microwave. I counted up the bags of rice and the separate bags of chicken. We had enough. I started to load everything into the car, but then I noticed the time. It was too late for me to meet the 6:00 p.m. deadline for dropping off my dogs. At that point, I lost all ability to function and had absolutely no clue as to what to do next.
America held hostage day 1405
Bushism of the day:
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." —Bush addressing a group of witnesses at the signing of the Defense Appropriations Act for Fiscal Year 2005 in Washington, DC on Aug. 4.
Website of the day: Quackpot Watch
http://www.quackpotwatch.org/
