I just received a comment about my most recent post from a very kind man. He is a member of a support group for survivors of a very rare and (at this time) incurable cancer. He could have been stern with me or angry with me. There are a whole range of unpleasant reactions he and others would have a right to express. I thought I should clarify my position on support groups.I am asocial. That's the bottom line for me. I was a member of a Survivor's of Suicide support group after my father died. I found it amazingly comforting to sit in a room with 12 other people who knew exactly what it felt like to live through that terrible, terrible event. Every week, we'd all stand up and say our names, the names of our departed loved ones, the date they died, and how they chose to leave us. That was as far as I ever got. I listened to everyone talk and I cried for the two hours it lasted every week. The very last week I went, the facilitator actually asked me to talk about my feelings. I talked, but I never went back.
I also participated in fairly long-term group therapy a couple of times in my life. I think my unwillingness to share my heart or my thoughts with groups of people stem from those experiences. They were not positive.
I understand how important it is for people to reach out to others, to have a stable base of supporters who are living through the same difficulties and traumas that you are. Please know that I don't mean to disparage that need or anyone who finds hope and solace through support groups.
This much I know: We all get through it how ever we can. Whatever crises life sends your way, the important thing is to just get through it. No judgments.
